The Clever Chauffer

There’s a story about how Albert Enstein was traveling to universities in a chauffer-driven car, delivering tectures on his theory if relativity.

One day while in transit, the chauffer remarked, “Dr. Einstein, I’ve heard you deliver that lecture about 30 times. I know it by heart ang bet I should give it myself.”

“Well, I’ll give you the chance, “said Einstein, “They don’t know me at the next school, so when we get there I’ll put on your cap, and you introduce yourself as and give the lecture.”

The chauffer delivered Einstein’s lecture flawlessly. When he finished, he started to leave, but one of the proffesors stopped him and asked a complex question filled with mathematical equations and formulas. The chauffer thought fast.

“The solution to that problem is so simple,” he said, “I’m surprise you have to ask me. In fact, to show you just how simple it is, I’m going to ask my chauffer to come up here and answer your question.”

Ralph and Edna

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while day were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna quickly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Ralph out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital as she now considered her to be mentally stable.When she went to tell Edna the news said, “Edna , I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluced that your that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is , Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom right after you saved him. I am sorry, but he is dead.” Edna replied, ‘He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?”

Camel Question

Te little camel went to his mother and asked, “Mother, why do we camels have such big eyes?”She looked on him lovingly and replied, “You see, my soon, when we are walking in the dessert and the wind starts to blowing and there’s sand everywhere, we need these big eyes to keep an eye on one another so that we don’t get lost.”“Oh!” he said. And why do we have such huge feet?“Well,” she said, “ they allow us to walk easily in the dessert sands and help us avoid sinking into the dunes.”“Wow.” He said, “great equipment. What the heck is this stuff on our backs for?”“You see,” his mother informed, “we can walk for days, even weeks without food or water, so we use it to store fat during those times. But why do you ask me all these obvious questions?”“Well, mother,” said the young camel, “I was just wondering, if we’ve got all of this great stuff, what are we doing in the zoo?”

Job at The Zoo

One day a clown was visiting the zoo and attempted to earn some money by making a street performance. He acted and mimed perfectly some animal acts. As soon as he started to drive a crowd, a zoo keeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office. The zoo keeper explained to the clown that the zoo's most popular gorilla had died suddenly and the keeper was fear that attendance at the zoo would fall off. So he offered the clown a job to dress up as the gorilla until the zoo could get another one. The clown accepted this great opportunity.So the next morning the clown put on the gorilla suit and entered the cage before the crowd came. He felt that it was a great job. He could sleep all he wanted, played and made fun of people and he drove bigger crowds than he ever did as a clown. He pretended the gorilla successfully.However, eventually the crowds were tired of him for just swinging on tires. He began to notice that the people were paying more attention to the lion in the next cage. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he decided to make a spectacular performance. He climbed to the top of his cage, crawled across a partition, and dangled from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this made the lion furious, but the crowd people loved it.At the end of the day the zoo keeper came and gave him a raise for being such a good attraction. Well, this went on for some time, he kept taunting the lion, the audience crowd grew a larger, and his salary kept going up. Then one terrible day happened. When he was dangling over the furious lion, he slipped and fell into the lion cage. The clown was really in big terrible situation. He was terrified.Sooner the lion gathered itself and prepared to pounce. The clown was so scared. He could do nothing and he began to run round and round the cage with the lion close and closer behind. Finally, the lion could catch him. The clown started screaming and yelling, "Help me, help me!", but the lion was quick and pounces. The clown soon found himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and suddenly he heard a voice from the lion’s mouth;"Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?".

That Phone is Off

Soon after he left college, Dave found one of his uncles who was very rich and had no children of his own died and left him a lot of money, so he decided to set up his own real estate agency.
Dave found a nice office. He bought some new furniture and moved in. he had only been there for e few hours when he heard someone coming toward the door of his office.
“It must be my first customer” Dave thought. He quickly picked up the telephone and pretended to be very busy answering an important call from someone in New York who wanted to buy a big and expensive house in the country.
The man knocked at the door while this was going on. He came in and waited politely for Dave to finish his conversation on the phone. Then the man said to Dave; “I am from the telephone company and I was sent here to connect your telephone”